Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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