I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
