if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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