i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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