Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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