everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
