She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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