She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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