He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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