I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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