the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
