Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
