Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
