hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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