Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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