As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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