yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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