I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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