hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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