ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
