so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
