I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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