I cockslap morals
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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