i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
