I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
