so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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