Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
