I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
our cab driver is having phone sex.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
