about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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