Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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