I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
