Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
as a side note pls kill me
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
