I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I think my moral compass just broke
And then he peed in my hair
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