So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
i out mim tonsoeep
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
