dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
