I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
