You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
