He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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