Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Are these your boobs on my camera?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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