youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
