yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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