The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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