Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
