Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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