I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
We have started to decorate penises.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
