Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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