I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
