She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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