Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
