everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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