I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
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