vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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